Anna, 25, Actress and Model. Me: So I'm writing this thing for a magazine... and, you know... I need to write about what it is that women want, um... Anna: In bed? Me: Oh, my God! You don't have to come right out and say it! God. - - - - Maria, 28, Filmmaker. Me: Okay, well... can you, uh, tell me a little bit about how you, um, like men to make love to you? Maria: Have you been drinking? Me: What! It's ten a.m. here. This is for a magazine thing I'm trying to write. - - - - Julie, 27, Personal Trainer. Me: Okay, let's see I'm working on this piece and I need you to tell me how you like to be turned on. Julie: This is Steve. Julie's out right now. Who is this? Me: ... Steve: Hello? - - - - Kim, 29, Designer. Me: I need to ask you about... Kim: Maria told me you were calling people drunk and asking them questions about sex. Me: What? That's a complete lie. Kim: What were you going to ask me then? Me: About... Hey, why does she think I'm drunk? Just because I'm asking about sex? This is for a magazine article. Kim: Since when do you write for a magazine? - - - - Nicole, 31, Waitress. Me: I'm supposed to find out about women... and... what they want in bed. Nicole: All of that will make sense when the time is right, Dan. Me: What? Nicole: Don't stress about it. You'll know when you're supposed to know. Me: No, I mean I need to find out for a magazine article. Nicole: Uh huh. What magazine? Me: It's for a magazine. A very popular one. A monthly one. Nicole: Oh, uh huh. Me: Whatever.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
What to Do on October 30 By Sarah Manguso The Name Game By Stephany Aulenback and Sean Carman Lydia Davis Week Reader Responses Lydia Davis Week Day Four Lydia Davis Week Day Three |
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