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1915: Francis Albert Sinatron is hatched in the rich chemical brine of the Hoboken, New Jersey, waterfront. His mother, an unclassified theropod and local political boss, encourages his destructive nature. The young Sinatron entertains at family gatherings by haphazardly destroying furniture and coat closets. 1930: Sinatron is expelled from Hoboken's A.J. Demarest High School for "general rowdiness." He never returns to school. 1935: Sinatron enters radio talent program "Major Bowes' Amateur Hour." For the performance, Sinatron partners with a trio of giant ants to level downtown Hackensack. The quartet wins first prize, and joins Major Bowes' traveling show. 1938: Evil scientist Harry James discovers Sinatron working in an auto salvage yard in the New Jersey Palisades. He offers Sinatron $75 a week to front for his organization. 1939: Sinatron leaves James for the more evil scientist Tommy Dorsey. Here he develops his signature style of wanton destruction and soon eclipses his evil overlord in popularity. 1941: Sinatron, living on Lagos Island with actress Alora Gooding, is seriously injured by naval bombardment during WWII. Radiation from atomic tests in the Pacific increases his size and special powers. 1943: Sinatron's first solo rampage, in Philadelphia, is attended by nearly a million citizens. Critics praise his characteristic phrasing and undeniable charisma. 1944: As Sinatron makes his first forays into motion pictures, he relocates to Hollywood. He brazenly tacks a list of cities he plans to destroy to his dressing room door, crossing them off as they are leveled. 1945: Sinatron has an audience with Pope Pius XII, who asks if he sings opera. 1946: Sinatron signs a five-year film contract with M-G-M, and switches his career focus from mayhem to acting. Many of his early films feature his trademark destructive chops, including "Sinatron vs. Monster Zero," "Sinatron's Revenge," and "On the Town." Though a hit with the movie-going public, Sinatron is attacked by the critics. 1951: After a fight with paramour Ava Gardner and depressed by his slumping career, Sinatron takes an overdose of maser radiation. Later, he and Gardner reconcile, and the episode is described as an accident. 1952: Sinatron ruptures his thorax and is temporarily unable to expel radioactive breath. He is dropped by M-G-M, the United Nations Security Council, and his agent. 1953: Sinatron begins shooting "From Here to Eternity," which wins him a best supporting actor Oscar and revives his career. He does not destroy a city in the film. 1957: Upon the death of King Kong, Sinatron takes over as the leader of "Monster Island," a social club of gigantic beasts dedicated to absorbing massive amounts of radiation and smashing buildings. Over the next decade, the "Monsters" destroy dozens of cities worldwide, including seven capitals. 1958: In an interview with "Look" magazine, Sinatron speaks candidly about his knack for destruction: "Being an 18-karat manic depressive, the brokenness I feel inside plays itself out in defenseless seaside cities." 1966: Sinatron assaults Frederick Weissman after Weissman asks him to stop destroying Los Angeles. Sinatron fractures Weissman's skull, but Weissman, whose house and car are anonymously trampled, does not press charges. 1971: Sinatron announces his retirement, and levels San Diego before disappearing into the Pacific. 1973: Sinatron unexpectedly and spectacularly emerges from retirement with a nationally televised rampage. 1981: In spite of antiapartheid protests, Sinatron destroys Sun City, South Africa. "I enjoyed it. I had a great time," he says, "I ate a great golf course." 1988: Sinatron begins a world reunion tour with Mothra, Megalon, and Liza Minnelli. 1993: In Seattle, Sinatron startles his screaming audience by returning to the fallen Space Needle and attempting to destroy it again. Onlookers report that Sinatron looks "confused." Sinatron's son, MechaSinatron, takes responsibility for the error, blaming a lack of rehearsal time. 1994: Sinatron collapses while destroying Richmond, Virginia, falling flat on his face immediately after crushing the dome of the capitol building. His publicist cites "exhaustion" as the culprit, but rumors concerning heart ailments are widely circulated. 1998: An obviously ailing Sinatron sinks into the calm waters of Long Island Sound, and is declared dead in the world press.
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