Please welcome Amy Jean Porter's horse T-shirt. For the next few days, the shirt is 20 percent off. - - - - |
(An unenclosed space.) VOICE: Would you mind coming in here for a moment? INDEFINITE SUBJECT: Umm? PLEADING (WITHOUT WANTING TO SEEM SO): Please, really, no harm can come to you. WITH SLIGHT QUAVER: Harm? CALMING ADDRESS, PALMS UPTURNED: A figure, my friend, of speech. As if I could harm you. It's not in my charter. Please, please me with your presence. UNABLE TO PULL THE PIECES TOGETHER: Please? GENTLE URGE OF AN ELBOW: Come along. Thanks. Right in here, within this enclosure. Here's the opening. (An enclosed space.) That wasn't so hard was it? SHALLOW REFLECTIVENESS: Uhrmm, no? FEELING THAT NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE: Exactly, no. Now that we're here, I'd like to ask you a few questions. What do you think? PARTLY HALFWAY UNSURE: Think? MENTAL SHEPHERD OF WAYWARD SHEEP: You'll have to, I believe, to respond to the queries. You see, I'm interested in you. In fact, the very you of you attracts me to you. Your youness. BASHFUL ABOUT EXPOSED ITNESS: Really? SEIZING OF A SLIGHT AND SLIPPERY ADVANTAGE: Of course, of course. I'm saying it, you're believing it, then it must be true. Couldn't you tell? GORDIAN KNOT OF CONFUSION: Yes? DELICATE MOVEMENT TO NEXT POINT: Refreshments? They're free. They come with the enclosure and are included with all questioning. HUNGRY, BUT BARELY: Sure, if it's free then. You said it was free right? HAVING NOT INTENDED TO MISLEAD ANYONE: Well, it's free with the questioning. Basically free you could say. Or practically. Practically free would not be an overstatement. It's included. CAREFUL WEIGHING OF DESIRES: One carbohydrate and one lukewarm liquid please. EXPRESSING UNFELT SURPRISE: An excellent selection. One of the most popular combinations. Here you go. RESIGNEDNESS: Thanks. FANFARE OF DIRECTNESS: Now, the following questions will require you to make a distinction. Please endeavor to do so. Please. SIX SYLLABLES OF SERIOUSNESS: What's a distinction? KEEPING AN EYE ON THE CURVEBALL, WILL IT HANG?: In what way do you mean? NOW UNSURE OF OWN QUESTION: In the way you were planning on using it. RELIEVED AS UNDER A SNOWMELT WATERFALL: Oh that way. Yes. But that's the way I'm using the word. So I'm afraid, to be fair to you, I can't say. It's all part of the questioning. Distinctions are your responsibility, not mine. Shall we continue? WHATEVER: Oh. Yeah. Sure. POINTEDLY GETTING DOWN TO IT: In the following situation which is more comely? The shank of a pinto or the actual, not metaphorical, eye of a peacock? NOT WANTING TO FLUB ONE THIS EARLY: What was the situation? VIEWING IDIOCY WITH VEILED SORROW: They're standing there, side by side, the two of them. POSITIVE: The shank. SOFT INTAKE OF BREATH: When looking to the sky, where are your hands? Mind you, it's partly cloudy. GRASPING A STRAW: Over my ears. BORROWED ENCOURAGEMENT: Good. Good. Now... if a machine can be perplexed, sexy, and scared, why are shoes preferred and sometimes required? CONFIDENT, THEN LESS SO: Condensation. Wait no. Can I take that back? They call it sweat now I think, the concealment of sweat. That's right, right? THOUGHT SO: We have to move on. Which is a better conversation ice-breaker while waiting for a receipt at a toll booth, a landscape painting you saw once featuring a dilapidated stone wall or the notion that an idea is not known a priori but made up when events or stimuli occasion its need, that in fact knowledge is the memory of circumstances in which previously useful ideas arose? DAMP FROM A SWIM IN THE PUBLIC POOL OF LOGIC: The extreme warmness of the weather. Always. That's easy. TENSED JAW OF FINAL RESOLVE: Okay, last one. Which pair do you most resemble: a sphere and a cylinder, a quail and a jack rabbit, a back hoe and a golf cart, the concept of a cosmic Good and the notion of intentional self-healing, a legal mandate and a political one, the slow walk to nowhere in particular and the jog? WARMING BENEATH THE DAWN OF SENSE: The spoken and the unspoken. I think I've got this! THE CHECKING OF A FINAL BOX: This is the final box I'm checking. Do you accept this? DEFINITE SUBJECT: Yes. PERFECTLY, CIRCUMSPECTLY HONEST: Okay, your scores will be mailed to you in six weeks. Thanks you. I mean, thank you. Here's a coupon for future savings. Good day. UNWILLING TO DRAW THE LINE: Good day? DISINTEGRATING IMPETUS: Yes. Stop it. This is the end. FULLY REALIZED SMILE: Bye.
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