Today, July 25, is your last day to start or renew - - - - |
"What fabulous costumes. Um, have you seen Steve's calculator?" "I don't have anything to say." (Helicopter sound effect.) "Do you have six bucks and I'll pay you back tonight?" (Woman laughing.) "I told Chris he could stay here but I was really drunk at the time. I have to work doubles all week... I'm closing." (Baby crying. Cash register Ringing.) "Put that back if you borrow it, Craig. I always have to go downstairs to get it." (Man screams in the distance. Sirens.) "Honey, I think Steve's calculator is on the shelf by the stairs. Or maybe look in that little basket where the bills are." (Thunder and the sound of party laughter, glasses and silverware) "It's been weird with her lately. But dude, seriously... can you spot me that six bucks?" (Dial tone and then ringing. An operator interrupts the line.) "I can't believe I keep sleeping with Chris. We broke up a year ago. And now he's going to stay with us. I'm an idiot. Wait a sec. Hello? Hello? I guess he hung up." (Airplane flying by as guitar tunes up.) "Last night when we went to pizza I only had one piece and I kicked in ten bucks. That's why I hate going out with those guys. How many pieces did you have? Well, ask yourself who didn't put money in? Right. That's how it always is with them."
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
Rule Six By Chris Mcavoy Wallpaper By Mike Topp A Member of the Club By Brian Bieber We Have So Many Things To Talk About By Evan R. Beaumont FAQ: Neal Pollack Ascendant By Neal Pollack |
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