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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!

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Saddam Hussein, Master of the Limerick.

BY JOE O'NEILL

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A swain who worked near the Euphrates
Had quite a smooth way with the ladies:
When he tried for a kiss,
He would not ever miss,
So I had him lowered into an acid bath until his screams woke the dead.

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A Baath Party bureaucrat thought
He'd defy me and never get caught.
Imagine his shock
When, called in to talk,
He was thrown from the 12th-story window of the interrogation office.

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One Abdul Ghani Shindala
Was especially good, a cappella,
At singing the praises
Of foes and disgraces,
So I had the traitorous cur assassinated after he fled the country.

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A comely young lady from Nippur
Was always quite friendly and chipper.
It's a shame to relate,
But her fiancé's fate
Was to contribute to the labyrinth of bones beneath my torture stadium.

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A Samarra cleric persisted
In the praising of persons blacklisted.
I was left little choice
But to limit his voice
By feeding his extracted tongue to birds of carrion.

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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:

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Saddam Hussein, Master of the Limerick By Joe O'Neill
John Moe's Pop-Song Correspondences, Volume IV By John Moe
An Open Letter to Cable News Organizations By Evan Thies
VH1's Top 10 Songs of the Last 25 Years, Rearranged Into Eight Better Songs By Chris Harvey
Hip-Hop Artist or Entry on U.S. Government Terrorist Watch List? By Josh Michtom

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E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
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SOLUTIONS TO BENJAMIN TAUSIG'S
THREE-DEMENSIONAL CROSSWORD PUZZLE
IN THE SAN FRANCISCO PANORAMA


ABOUT A VERY BAD WIZARD

ABOUT THE WILD THINGS

ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT

ABOUT FEVER CHART

ABOUT GOD SAYS NO

ABOUT ZEITOUN

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