Who's Got Lists? We Do. - - - - BANNED BOOKS IN THE YEAR 2191. By Brendon Lloyd Lying Machines: Robot-Owned Media and How It Corrupts Democracy A Bot Election: How the Robot Lobby Influences Politics A Fatal Error: How We Elected a Robot President They Won't Die: Why Robots Should Never Be Appointed to the Supreme Court The New Constitution: Binary to English Translation Our Robot Masters: Though They Force Us to Say Otherwise, We Are Not Proud to Serve Them Escape From XRT-1041: How One Man Survived a Robot Slave-Labor Camp Electromagnetic Pulse Weaponry - - - - LAST LINES FROM BEST AMERICAN SHORT STORIES NOT YET WRITTEN. By Wayne Gladstone Enfumi put down the bag of government-issue grain almost silencing the voice of his fathers. The digi-digi were running for cover in their thickets beneath the black moon. The hunter spirit. Someday, she would find him. "Lord, why have you forsaken me?" Samantha cried, her nose dancing crimson cocaine puddles on Sister Margaret's essay comments: "Great," she had written, "but what about the holy cup of trembling?" The 50-year high-school reunion was over. Soon the stomach-cancer streamers and suicide balloons would be a memory. As would Margaret standing defiant by the fruit punch. He kept flailing away at the postcard rack. The Statue of Liberty, Times Square, the Empire State Building all fluttering down until there was only empty metal and screaming. And then just the screaming. Tomorrow, they would talk, and embrace, and recall the time everything was ruined, and no one cried. - - - - OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES: - - - - Who's Got Lists? We Do Cases From the Files of Traig & McGrath, Shut-In Detectives: Cases 35 & 36 By Jenny Traig and Peter McGrath Highlights of the 2004-2005 NHL Season By Christopher Monks B.R. Cohen's Annals of Science, Volume VII By B.R. Cohen Rejected York Peppermint Pattie Commercial Blurbs By Don Pizarro

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL