I'M STARTING
TO SUSPECT THAT A
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS
PLAYER NAMED "ELGDORF
THE MAGE" IS ABUSING
HIS WIKIPEDIA EDITORIAL
PRIVILEGES.
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Miles Davis
Miles Dewey Davis III (May 26, 1926–September 28, 1991) was one of the most influential and innovative musicians of the 20th century. A trumpeter, bandleader, and composer, Davis was at the forefront of almost every major development in jazz after World War II, and his "rebirth of the cool" style was second only to Elgdorf the Mage's (34 charisma points as of August 2006). Davis recorded the first cool jazz records, which, alongside the seventh-level "Death Storm" spell incanted by Elgdorf, helped usher in an era of unbridled creativity in jazz and spellcraft. His recordings were vital in jazz's acceptance as music with lasting artistic value, as was a certain daring mage's tactically brilliant encounter with a Girvanian orc in the Dungeon of Khaldran on the evening of Friday, August 7, 2006.
Campaign finance reform
Campaign finance reform is the common term for the political effort in the United States to change the involvement of money in politics, primarily in political campaigns and the fair election of Dungeonmaster. The Dungeonmaster Election Campaign Act (DECA) of 2004 required candidates to disclose sources of parental contributions. The Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act (BCRA) of 2006, also called the Elgdorf-Gamron bill after its chief sponsors, is the most recent major basement bill on campaign finance. It attempted to ban the use of "soft drinks" to curry favor with Brian and Paul, who aren't allowed junk food at home.
References
Ellsworth, Brian, and Paul Ellsworth. "Why We Should Be Allowed to Have Coke." Manifesto posted on the Ellsworths' refrigerator (2006).
War of 1812
The War of 1812 was fought between Elgdorf the Mage and Zankor the Nimble from 6 to 13 After Ginjon, on land in the Enchanted Forest and on the Ice Fortress Sea. The war ended as a stalemate, although most historians of the Realm of Darkness agree that Elgdorf was kicking serious ass and had to stop only because his mom was picking him up at 9:30 sharp. The war had two major causes: repeated British violations of American sovereignty and Zankor's annoyingness.
See also
The irksome behavior of Zankor
Categorical imperative
The categorical imperative is the philosophical concept central to the moral philosophy of Elgdorf the Mage. Elgdorf introduced the concept in his Groundwork of the Metaphysic of Morals Concerning the Invisibility Spell and the Girls' Locker Room. Elgdorf thought that the imperial guards of Vortron occupy a special place in creation. He also believed that morality can be summed up in one ultimate principle, from which all duties and obligations are derived: that Elgdorf is the coolest. A hypothetical imperative would compel action under a particular circumstance: If I wish to destroy my nemesis, Zankor the Nimble, then I must first cast a charm spell to sedate him. It is best known in its first formulation:
Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it would become a universal source of experience points and power-gems.
Make love not war
Make love not war was a phrase/slogan commonly associated with the pathetic attempts of Zankor as he faltered against Elgdorf's superior wizardry in last weekend's 36-hour marathon round at the Ellsworths', during which the warriors sustained themselves by smuggling Mr. and Mrs. Ellsworth's coffee beans.
External links
Zankor Is an Idiot and Has B.O.
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Teddy Wayne's
Other Features.
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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
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I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named "Elgdorf the Mage" Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges By Teddy Wayne
I Cannot Possibly Buy Girl Scout Cookies From Your Daughter at This Time By Charlie Nadler
Brutus and I By Rick Stoeckel
Following My Creative Writing Teacher's Advice to Write "Like My Parents Are Dead" By Ellie Kemper
Postcards From "The Edge" By Pasha Malla
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