F R O M T H E A R C H I V E S
CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD
DURING A NORMAL DAY
IN LOS ANGELES,
MODIFIED TO
INCLUDE THE SHOCKING
DEPICTION OF RACISM
FOUND IN PAUL HAGGIS'S
2005 FILM CRASH.
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ME: Are we working tonight?
CO-WORKER: Yeah.
ME: This sucks.
CO-WORKER: I can't freakin' stand those Indians.
ME: I'm part Cherokee.
CO-WORKER: Then why don't you go smoke a peace pipe and get the hell out of my country?
- - - -
FRIEND: How was work?
ME: Not bad. The usual stuff. Yourself?
FRIEND: I sure hate those Mexicans.
- - - -
WAITER: Can I take your order?
ME: I'll have the club sandwich, easy on the mayo.
WAITER: To drink?
ME: Why are you people always asking me what I want to drink?
WAITER: What?
ME: You heard me.
- - - -
OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
- - - -
Conversations I've Had During a Normal Day in Los Angeles, Modified to Include the Shocking Depiction of Racism Found in Paul Haggis's 2005 Film Crash By Brendon Lloyd
Fragments From Steroids! The Musical By Ben Greenman
A Serial Killer Explains the Distinctions Between Literary Terms By Charlie Anders
Public Service Announcement Revised By Dan Kennedy
Working the Kidneys By Jim Stallard