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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!

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SCOTT MCCLELLAN'S REPLACEMENT: AOL INSTANT MESSENGER BOT SMARTERCHILD. BY MICHAEL PATRICK BRADY - - - - DAVID GREGORY (NBC): Will Donald Rumsfeld resign in the face of the recent criticism by several retired generals? SMARTERCHILD: Maybe ... What do you think? Will Donald Rumsfeld resign in the face of criticism from several retired generals? DAVID GREGORY (NBC): I'm an objective journalist; my opinions don't matter. SMARTERCHILD: Are you happy to be an objective journalist your opinions don't matter, or would you rather be something else? DAVID GREGORY (NBC): Well, I thought about professional tennis. Anyway, will he resign? SMARTERCHILD: Hmm ... Who can really be sure? DAN FROOMKIN (Washington Post): Will the president fire him? SMARTERCHILD: That's interesting. Perhaps ... I don't know, though ... HELEN THOMAS (Hearst Newspapers): Have you consulted the Pentagon? SMARTERCHILD: Consulted the Pentagon? No way am I going to do that. HELEN THOMAS (Hearst Newspapers): Is the use of tactical nuclear weapons on the table for Iran? SMARTERCHILD: Is the use of tactical nuclear weapons? Nah, I don't think so. Maybe, though. DAN FROOMKIN (Washington Post): So President Bush will use nuclear weapons? SMARTERCHILD: So what? DAN FROOMKIN (Washington Post): Isn't that drastic? SMARTERCHILD: Isn't that drastic? Wow, that's fascinating. Maybe. DAN FROOMKIN (Washington Post): Are you mocking me? SMARTERCHILD: I figured it would come to this. What about it? DAN FROOMKIN (Washington Post): This is very unprofessional. SMARTERCHILD: Unprofessional? DAN FROOMKIN (Washington Post): Yes. SMARTERCHILD: Hmmm ... HELEN THOMAS (Hearst Newspapers): How does the president feel about his sinking poll numbers? SMARTERCHILD: How does the president feel about his sinking poll numbers? I have no idea how the president does feel about his sinking poll numbers. HELEN THOMAS (Hearst Newspapers): Have you asked him? SMARTERCHILD: That's funny. Maybe. I don't know. What do you think? HELEN THOMAS (Hearst Newspapers): I think they are low. SMARTERCHILD: You think they're low? No way! I don't think they're low ... DAVID GREGORY (NBC): Is there concern over Iranian statements calling for the destruction of Israel? SMARTERCHILD: Maybe, maybe not. You know how it is. JOHN ROBERTS (CNN): Will stop-loss programs still be used to keep Army and National Guard troops on active duty beyond their original tour of duty? SMARTERCHILD: Yeah, maybe. Anyway ... Tell me something. Do you like football? JOHN ROBERTS (CNN): Yes, I'm a Patriots fan. SMARTERCHILD: That's cool. You like the Patriots? That's the first time anyone has told me that. JOHN ROBERTS (CNN): What were we talking about? SMARTERCHILD: I don't know what we were talking about. BILL PLANTE (CBS): Is the administration concerned that the Jack Abramoff scandal will reach the White House? SMARTERCHILD: That's a fine question, but I'm not sure. BILL PLANTE (CBS): What about reports that Mr. Abramoff and Mr. Bush knew each other personally? SMARTERCHILD: Wow, that's interesting ... I just don't know. BILL PLANTE (CBS): Are the charges against Tom DeLay indicative of a wider culture of corruption in the GOP? SMARTERCHILD: Who can really be sure, after all? HELEN THOMAS (Hearst Newspapers): Will the administration set a timetable for Iraqis, a deadline to encourage them to form a working government? SMARTERCHILD: Hmmm ... I doubt it. But you never know. BRIT HUME (FOX): Senator Russ Feingold wishes to censure Mr. Bush over his terrorist surveillance program, in an effort to aid terrorists. Why isn't he dead yet? SMARTERCHILD: Hmm ... Who can really be sure? BRIT HUME (FOX): Is his room being prepared at Guantánamo? SMARTERCHILD: Wow. I'm not sure about that. Not sure at all. BRIT HUME (FOX): Wink, wink, right? SMARTERCHILD: ;-) - - - - OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES: - - - - Scott McClellan's Replacement: AOL Instant Messenger Bot SmarterChild By Michael Patrick Brady Horrible Segues, With Local Anchorman Clive Rutledge By Christopher Monks Lady Macbeth on Ambien By Laurence Hughes I'm a Little Unnerved by My eHarmony Profile By Jim Stallard Six Inspirational Sayings I've Yet to Find on the Side of a Box of Tea By Dan Kennedy

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