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REGARDING THOSE INTERNET SEARCHES YOU FOUND AND THEN CONFRONTED ME ABOUT IN A HOSTILE WAY? WE'LL BE LAUGHING ABOUT THE HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING IN THIS WEEK'S COUNSELING SESSION. BY FRANK FERRI - - - - anal creampies Can't a person be particular about his desserts? I'm damn near OCD when it comes to blind-baking my crusts to the perfect golden brown. I was simply seeing if there were any like-minded precision-driven pastry fanatics out there. teen sex While it's true we don't have children yet, we're going to someday. And they're going to grow up—faster than you can imagine—and have lots of questions. I don't know about you, but I'd like to have some answers. hot facials I know how much you enjoy the occasional spa treatment, so I wanted to surprise you with one. Guess that's ruined now. pearl necklace It was going to be on your pillow when you got back from the facial. Also ruined. dripping wet pussies I'm sorry, but we don't own any books called What to Do When the Cat Falls in the Toilet. Forgive me for turning to the Internet for feline-drying techniques. cock-hungry whores Apparently, you're too busy—or is it callous?—to concern yourself with the fact that prostitutes need to eat, too. And guess what? Turns out they tend to crave poultry. curious about gay lifestyles Now that was just a typo. The c should have been an f. Those gays make me mad. - - - - OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES: - - - - Regarding Those Internet Searches You Found and Then Confronted Me About in a Hostile Way? We'll Be Laughing About the Huge Misunderstanding in This Week's Counseling Session By Frank Ferri The iPhone: A User's Guide By Darren Cahr John Updike, Television Writer By Jared Young James, I Cannot Even Begin to Imagine Who Threw a Bag Full of Feces Into Your Dishwasher By John Jodzio The 4-Year-Old Appears on Deal or No Deal By Ross Murray

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