(IM)AGNA CARTA. BY JASON RHODE - - - - <IOHANNESRex has invited BAR0|\|z1215 to the "Runnymede" chatroom> IOHANNESRex: HEY BAR0|\|z1215: EM? IOHANNESRex: --- I @m /\w4Y, FIGhTiNg the FrEnCH! ill brb --- BAR0|\|z1215: WTF IOHANNESRex: --- I @m /\w4Y, FIGhTiNg the FrEnCH! ill brb --- BAR0|\|z1215: BTDT IOHANNESRex: HEY whos this IOHANNESRex: asl? BAR0|\|z1215: umm BAR0|\|z1215: ru gay d00d <IOHANNESRex has warned BAR0|\|z1215> IOHANNESRex: LOLLL!!!! IOHANNESRex: chek out my facebook, im under chad divineright ... its a faker!!! BAR0|\|z1215: k BAR0|\|z1215: hey so wut happened to ur band?? IOHANNESRex: Lakkland broke up ... thot ud heard IOHANNESRex: my new bands calld softswordd were gonna be emo LMAO BAR0|\|z1215: ... god ur gay IOHANNES Rex: shit IOHANNESRex: mom IOHANNESRex: brb BAR0|\|z1215: k IOHANNESRex: closecall it wuz the chruch IOHANNESRex: 3{:-[)> <---thats my cRoWn BAR0|\|z1215: ... I hv HMWRK!!!1111 IOHANNESRex: hey so tht mnz kan i borrow sum $$$$ IOHANNESRex: [E<D BAR0|\|z1215: NW U nvr pay me back IOHANNESRex: I tryn 2 level my char 4 10p a week srsrlly ok BAR0|\|z1215: alrite but u hv 2 me a fvr k? BAR0|\|z1215: or else no IOHANNESRex: cmon IOHANNESRex: pleeeeeease IOHANNESRex: k <BAR0|\|z1215 is trying to send IOHANNESRex a File "magnacarta.parchment"> IOHANNESRex: got it IOHANNESRex: WTF???!! WTF???! IOHANNESRex: im confused wut lol BAR0|\|z1215: gimme a sec im invitin sUm peepz IOHANNESRex: S000 tihs is a zine? <William d'Albini has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Roger Bigod, Earl of Norfolk and Suffolk, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Hugh Bigod, heir to the earldoms of Norfolk and Suffolk, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Henry de Bohun, Earl of Hereford, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Richard de Clare, Earl of Hertford, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Gilbert de Clare, heir to the earldom of Hertford, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <John FitzRobert, Lord of Warkworth Castle, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Robert Fitzwalter, Lord of Dunmow Castle, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> BAR0|\|z1215: sgn it kplzthx IOHANNESRex: no way mofosz <BAR0|\|z1215 has warned IOHANNESRex> <Robert Fitzwalter, Lord of Dunmow Castle, has warned IOHANNESRex> <John FitzRobert, Lord of Warkworth Castle, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Gilbert de Clare, heir to the earldom of Hertford, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Richard de Clare, Earl of Hertford, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Henry de Bohun, Earl of Hereford, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Hugh Bigod, heir to the earldoms of Norfolk and Suffolk, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Roger Bigod, Earl of Norfolk and Suffolk, has warned IOHANNESRex> <William d'Albini has warned IOHANNESRex> IOHANNESRex: Concesserimus libertates quasdam scriptas in Magna Carta nostra de libertatibus. Data per manum nostram. BAR0|\|z1215: ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! IOHANNESRex: man fukk u guyz - - - - OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES: - - - - (IM)agna Carta By Jason Rhode The Plight of the Suburban Deer By G. Xavier Robillard Fragments From Polygamy! The Musical By Ben Greenman First Drafts of the Parables of Jesus By A.J. Packman John McCain Gives It to Me Straight By Ellie Kemper

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL