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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama
.

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WE'RE HAVING A CONTEST
FOR NEW COLUMNISTS

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This contest is now closed. For a list of winners, please click here.

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McSweeney's Internet Tendency is looking for some new and fresh blood for our semi-regular columns that run as the rather disordered series of links toward the bottom of this page. In order to facilitate this search, we've decided to have a contest. Here's all the relevant information that we can think of.

1. Form and content is open. We are looking for writers and writing that are engaging and interesting, of the "we know it when we see it" variety. It would probably be a mistake to look at our current columns and try to replicate them. We love those columns, but they came about by authors simply following their own paths. Write about subject matter you're interested in, in the way you find most compelling.

2. Length is also open. In general, we find anything over 2000 words begins to be taxing on readers when read on the Internet, but if the length is justified, we're the last ones to complain.

3. Submissions should contain the following:

• a brief description of the proposed column (keep it short; just tell us where you're coming from)

• one full example column

• brief descriptions of three additional installments of your column

• a short biographical note

4. Submitting your submissions. All submissions should be both pasted into the body of an email and sent as a .doc or .rtf attachment. Please arrange the material in the order outlined in #3 above. Any submissions that fail to provide all the requested information will be ineligible for consideration. All material should be previously unpublished, including personal blogs, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever thing is invented between now and the end of the contest. There is no fee for contest submission. Submissions should be sent to columncontest@mcsweeneys.net.

5. Deadline. Submissions will be accepted until the end of the day Friday, July 10th. Winners will be announced no later than August 7th. Please include a phone number where you can be reached in case of e-mail failure.

6. Prizes. We have prizes. Cash prizes. The top three selections will each receive $500 and a one-year contract to write your column (twice a month or thereabouts) for McSweeney's Internet Tendency. We do reserve the right to choose fewer (or more) winners than our planned number of three.

7. If you have any questions that aren't answered here, please feel free to send them to columncontest@mcsweeneys.net.

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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:

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We're Having a Contest for New Columnists
Hi, It's Vince for the Victory Towel! By Adam Bozarth
Amateur Hours By Michael McGrath
Easy Instructions for the Conversion to Digital TV By Teddy Wayne
The Bachelor Party: What You Need To Know By Jason Roeder and Mike Sacks

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LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

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GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY

THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER

OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION

DISPATCHES FROM MANILA

DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS


REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE

LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX

NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR
AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS


B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM

CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ

AND HERE'S THE KICKER:
MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS


GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES

SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW

DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER
WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE


DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL

DISPATCHES FROM INDIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

ABOUT THE WILD THINGS

ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT

ABOUT FEVER CHART

ABOUT GOD SAYS NO

ABOUT ZEITOUN

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL
TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY


E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM


TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO,
DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK


JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER

STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

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