This month, our genius editorial team released a cover feature that gave voice to someone not yet heard: a straight, white male high schooler. We spent 7000 words dissecting this young man whose biggest worry is that people might think he’s a jerk for his conservative views. Because our magazine is dedicated to having nuanced discussions about modern race, sexuality, and gender issues, we will profile anyone who has never had to think about these issues before our reporter asked them to.

That’s how our reporters get honest answers!

In this upcoming series of profiles, we will present our straight white male subjects as quintessential Americans. Sure, that might seem like we don’t think people of other races, sexualities, or genders are quintessentially American but that wouldn’t jive with the Norman Rockwell thing our photographer has got going on.

That’s not to say we don’t want diversity, we want a cross-section from America. From white male teenagers who play Call Of Duty all the way to white male teenagers who play Madden NFL.

We want to engage in truly radical journalism. Except for most television pundits, think piece writers, radio hosts, corporate leaders, congressional representatives, senators, presidents, and fictional protagonists of fantasy epics, we just don’t hear enough of the young white straight male perspective on issues that they have no direct experience of.

Our editorial team is committed to engaging in national debates with our subjects. But not a debate about whether white men can interject themselves into conversations on the rights of marginalized groups they’re not a part of. Our reporters won’t have time to properly lay out both sides of that issue! They’ll be too deeply embedded in middle American high school social life. They could be a shoo-in for prom king or queen!

Besides, our subject was just saying that if a racist tweet is funny, then you can’t be offended. And we have no follow-up questions!

We are committed to using our platform to discuss racial issues in particular. So we will go to towns in America with virtually no black people and ask our subjects their opinions on race. They have plenty of thoughts on the “inner city,” at least their dads have thoughts that they overheard.

Why should we profile female or non-binary figures? From what our subjects say about sexism, there seems to be no difference between guys and girls. Except that all of the girls probably hate football and are super passive while driving. The people we profile are decisive because no one has ever questioned their core values at any point in their lives. And we’re not going to be the first ones.

A lot of other publications might write pieces with multiple subjects from diverse backgrounds to weave a larger narrative or make a point about society at large. But we’re not doing that at all. Instead, we want to run pieces that really make you ask the big questions, like “Is this really what they’re choosing to focus on in this political climate?” or “Is this the farthest this writer has ever been from Brooklyn?” or “Has anyone on this editorial board even heard the word ‘intersectional?’” Yes, yes, and what’s that?

Our magazine is daring to ask the question: in our conversations about racism and sexism, isn’t it young white straight males who are being left out of the conversation? Our subject isn’t really sure, he doesn’t know too much about it. But he does know women probably don’t like football!