McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Ellie Kemper
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May 6, 2014I Have No Plans to Stop Using ‘AHAHAHAHAHAHA’ Instead of ‘LOL’ Anytime Soon
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February 14, 2013How Aleksandr Knew What He Knew, and How I Knew That He Knew
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October 1, 2009My Hobbies
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March 27, 2009I Am Not on a Roll
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April 21, 2008John McCain Gives It to Me Straight
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December 13, 2007Some Relatively Recent College Grads Discuss Their Maids
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August 22, 2007No-Stress, Low-Fuss, Hassle-Free Summertime Recipes for the Confident, Independent, Self-Sufficient Gal On the Go
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May 15, 2007A Guest Columnist Still Getting the Hang of It
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October 24, 2006Following My Creative Writing Teacher’s Advice to Write “Like My Parents Are Dead”
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June 16, 2006In Response To Accusations That My Memoir, I, Ellie Kemper, Borrows Numerous Passages From Rigoberta Menchu’s Memoir, I, Rigoberta Menchu
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December 15, 2005Listen, Kid, the Biggest Thing You’ve Got Going for You Is Your Rack
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner