The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Jesse Eisenberg
Jesse Eisenberg is an actor and author of the plays The Spoils, The Revisionist, and Asuncion, as well as the short story collection, Bream Gives Me Hiccups:https://www.mcsweeneys.net/columns/bream-gives-me-hiccups-restaurant-reviews-from-a-privileged-nine-year-old, which began as a McSweeney’s column.
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January 3, 2019My Sister Pushes the Lobster
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May 18, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: The Natural Order of the World Depends On It
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January 25, 2017My Very Good Friend
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November 4, 2016Self-Deprecating Heroes
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December 12, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: The Ashram and Mom
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November 12, 2013Alexander Graham Bell’s First Five Phone Calls
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November 1, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: The Museum of Natural History and Making Compromises
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October 2, 2013A Post Gender Normative Woman Tries to Pick Up a Man at a Bar
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August 6, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: A Crawfish Boil and Dad’s New Family
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June 3, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Fuddruckers and an Unreliable New Friend
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February 22, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Matthew’s House
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December 11, 2012Body Rituals Among the Lauxesortem
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 12, 2025DOGE-Inspired Spring Cleaning
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March 5, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Dong Li
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March 6, 2025Killing Baby Boomers Will Save the United States Government Trillions
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 24, 2025My Mother-in-Law Wouldn’t Complain If She Didn’t Get Her Social Security Check, Because She Would Be Dead
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March 21, 2025American History Lessons Edited to Comply with Anti-DEI Standards
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March 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: The Process: Judy Baca, Generation on Fire, 2023