Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

M c S W E E N E Y ' S
B R A I N   E X P L O D E R :
A N S W E R S .


- - - -

G U B E R N A T O R I A L Y S S A
M I L A N O .

September 17

As expected, last week's puzzle, "GubernatoriAlyssa Milano," proved to be a significant challenge. Five people had ten acceptable answers to the puzzle, in which we asked readers to form tickets for California Governor/Lieutenant Governor consisting of actors, living or dead, whose names started and ended with letters we provided and which also had at least three letters overlapping in the middle. There was, of course, more than one possible answer for each of these and this led to some pretty obscure pairings (anyone remember Emma Barron and Ronnie Kahn?). Admiring nods to Earl Humphries, Sam Koch, Jay Erdmann, Josh Mictom, and this week's winner of a McSweeney's book: Graham Hillard. Honorable mention goes to Bryce Chackerian who had six answers that matched ours, more than anyone, but who just couldn't come up with a pairing for number nine.

For the record, here are the tickets we had in mind:

1. Jason AlexanDERmot Mulroney 

2. Gabrielle AnWARren Beatty 

3. Emilio ESTEVEZahn 

4. Timothy BotTOMSelleck 

5. Carrie FiSHERilyn Fenn 

6. Maximilian SchELLen DeGeneres 

7. Leslie Ann WarRENee Zellweger 

8. Raul JuLIAm Neeson 

9. Willie AaMEShach Taylor 

10. Matt LeBLANCe Henriksen 

No one was able to match our answers for seven or nine.

A few other notes about the entries we received from the aforementioned Fab Five, who were each ten-of-ten.

The California Governor's race includes at least one adult actress, so we had to allow them on our fictitious tickets as well. Josh Mictom used this loophole to his advantage, forming the team, "Rachel RYAN Cameron." As many of you are no doubt aware, Rachel is the star of over 150 films, including Splendor in the Ass, Porn on the Fourth of July, Rambone the Destroyer, and, improbably, an instructional video called The Secrets of Making Love to the Same Person Forever.

We also want to acknowledge Jay Erdmann's pairing, "Ralph BellAMY Jo Johnson." Amy Jo Johnson, who first burst onto the scene as the pink Power Ranger, is an actress with credits in over a dozen movies and television programs, including most recently, a supporting role on the popular television show, Felicity. Amy Jo was also the subject of one of the most memorable moments on the IFC television series Dinner for Five, a weekly program in which actor Jon Favreau sits down to dinner with other actors and they discuss the business of independent film. One night, his guests included Colin Farrell, Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, and Alias's Jennifer Garner. As the main course was served, Jennifer Garner mentioned that she is often mistaken for other actresses, and said that fans frequently ask for her autograph thinking she is Amy Jo Johnson. In an exchange that must have caused poor Amy Jo to bury her horrified face into a decorative sofa cushion, and one that surely told us more about Ben Affleck than we learned in two full seasons of Project Greenlight, the popular star of Daredevil and consensus A-List Beautiful Person exclaimed: "Who the fuck is Amy Jo Johnson?"

At that moment, every single member of the Brain Exploder staff — male or female, straight or gay, married or unmarried — developed an incurable crush on Amy Jo Johnson and we are making it a goal of the Brain Exploder to help make Amy Jo the most powerful woman in Hollywood, capable of crushing Ben Affleck's career with only the speed dial on her cell phone

Now, we don't actually want her to crush Ben Affleck because that would be mean and not something that the idealized Amy Jo of our idle-moment daydreams would do to another human being. But we want her to be capable of it.

So from this day forward, anyone who is able to work Amy Jo Johnson into their Brain Exploder answers in a credible way (and I stress the credible part) will receive a special mention on these pages.

It won't help you win any prizes, but you will be striking a blow for good karma.

 

 

MORE BRAIN EXPLODERS

- - - -

MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES

 

Memories of Amanda Davis

 


Red dot denotes content that is new today.

Black dot denotes newish content.

McSWEENEY'S STORE

SUBSCRIBE TO:
McSWEENEY'S
THE BELIEVER
WHOLPHIN

FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS

THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD

INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE

McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST

McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES

ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
FOR BOOKS
FOR THE QUARTERLY
FOR THE WEBSITE
FOR WHOLPHIN

McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS

CONTACT US

- - - -

LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW

SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST

DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT

ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES

ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS

ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS

ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY

DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY

ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY

DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO
A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA


STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

- - - -

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL