Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

- - - -

Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama
.

- - - -

A   L E T T E R   O F   R E F E R E N C E
I   W R O T E   F O R   D A V I D   G E R G E N .

BY JUDE WALSH

- - - -

I understand that McSweeney's is soliciting short-short stories regarding or otherwise featuring David Gergen. Below is a letter of recommendation that I wrote last year for Mr. Gergen in order to assist him in securing employment. I realize that this isn't exactly a 'story,' but I think your readers may find it useful, particularly those readers who are unfamiliar with Mr. Gergen and his many accomplishments - or readers who are looking to hire someone with Mr. Gergen's credentials. I note that the letter is not addressed to a particular person and is not dated. This is so that Mr. Gergen can make copies of the letter and distribute them to prospective employers as required.

Dear ________________:

I am writing this letter on behalf of Mr. David Gergen, who is seeking employment with your organization. I recommend Mr. Gergen to you enthusiastically and without reservation.

I have been an avid reader of Mr. Gergen's columns and a devoted watcher of his television appearances for many years. I have also been a subscriber to U.S. News and World Report, to which Mr. Gergen is a regular contributor, although my subscription has recently lapsed. (I certainly intend to renew as soon as things settle down around here.) I also understand that Mr. Gergen served as an advisor to both Presidents Bush and Clinton, although I am not as familiar with this facet of his career as I am with his columns and television appearances, some of which I have recorded (but don't ask me where they are because this place is a bit disorganized right now). As you probably know, President Bush is a Republican and President Clinton is a Democrat and is the current President.

Mr. Gergen is highly intelligent, articulate and about fifty-three. When he expresses his opinions (he has many), you always say to yourself "that guy really knows what he's talking about." That's how smart and articulate he is. He is also virtuous and ethical - qualities which are too often overlooked these days. Although I am not familiar with the specific business of your organization, I am certain that Mr. Gergen would be a valuable employee (unless your business involves heavy lifting or illegal chemical disposal). Mr. Gergen is a self-starter who needs very little supervision or oversight. If you give him a task, you can be confident that it will be done and done right - THE FIRST TIME.

At this point, I would like to give you an example of exactly what I'm talking about. Just last week (it might have been several weeks or months ago), Mr. Gergen was on television along with David Broder, who is also a highly respected political pundit. They were talking about politics and fiscal policy and I just had to record it so I could analyze it later. Now, I hardly ever record stuff from television, but I really wanted to record Mr. Gergen's opinions because he's so smart. See what I mean?

I am not certain where Mr. Gergen is working now, but I do know that it will be a great loss to that place when he leaves there. I state confidently and without reservation that if you hire him, Mr. Gergen will be an asset to your organization and an outstanding employee (subject to the heavy lifting and chemical disposal exceptions mentioned above). Mr. Gergen is always appropriately dressed and well groomed.

It has truly been an honor to write this letter on Mr. Gergen's behalf, and it is my hope that I have adequately conveyed my esteem for him. If there are any questions you have or if there are any matters which I have failed to address here, please feel free to contact me. If you send me a letter, write "Re David Gergen" on the outside so I know what it's about.

Sincerely,

Jude Walsh

- - - -

MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES



Memories of Amanda Davis




Red dot denotes content that is new today.

Black dot denotes newish content.

McSWEENEY'S STORE

SUBSCRIBE TO:
McSWEENEY'S
THE BELIEVER
WHOLPHIN

FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS

THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD

INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE

THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING

McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST

BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY

McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES

ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
FOR BOOKS
FOR THE QUARTERLY
FOR THE WEBSITE
FOR WHOLPHIN

McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS

CONTACT US

- - - -

LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS

NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS

BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING

DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY
TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE


GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY

THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER

OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION

DISPATCHES FROM MANILA

DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS


REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE

LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX

NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR
AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS


B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM

CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ

AND HERE'S THE KICKER:
MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS


GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES

SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW

DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER
WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE


DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL

DISPATCHES FROM INDIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

ABOUT THE WILD THINGS

ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT

ABOUT FEVER CHART

ABOUT GOD SAYS NO

ABOUT ZEITOUN

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL
TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY


E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM


TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO,
DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK


JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER

STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

- - - -

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL