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Now available for preorder:
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D A V I D   G E R G E N ' S   F A C E :
W H A T   I S   IT   M A D E   O F ?

BY LUCY THOMAS

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Mr. David Gergen's face is soft and oval, and colored light-tan. It could be made of putty.

We do not know if David Gergen's face is or is not made of putty. We assume it is not made of putty, but because we have not touched it with our own hands, we do not know.

None among us has ever known a real person whose face is made of putty. Thus, we think it unlikely that David Gergen's face is made of putty; we dismiss the notion that Mr. Gergen could be the first such person. It seems improbable, we tell ourselves, that the only person to have ever been born with a face of putty would achieve so much, would walk so confidently, so often, in the corridors of power, as Mr. Gergen has.

And though we do not know for sure if his face is made of putty, I have found the answers to these, peripheral questions:

Q: If David Gergen's face is indeed made of putty, is the rest of his body, also, made of putty?
A: That is a silly question. Of course not.

Q: If David Gergen's face is indeed made of putty, do those close to him know this?
A: Like who?
Q: Family, friends, cowalkers in the corridors of power.
A: No. No one else knows.

Q: If David Gergen's face is indeed made of putty, does it melt during warm weather? Putty melts when it exposed to intense heat, and it is often very warm in Washington, D.C., where Mr. Gergen spends much time.
A: Yes. It melts. His face melts.

Q: If David Gergen's face is indeed made of putty, are his eyes made of glass?
A: Like marbles?
Q: Yes, I suppose.
A: No. They are made of water, emeralds and smoke.

Q: What are your eyes made of?
A: Who?
Q: You.
A: I make fire with my eyes.
Q: You do not.
A: I do.

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