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Issue 35 is nearly here, in all its disappearing-ink glory.For a very limited time, subscribe to the Quarterly, starting withIssue 35, and get a FREE Better of McSweeney's, Vol. II.
BY DAVID HART
Colonel Mustard, identity theft, Ukrainian server room
Miss Scarlet, catastrophic hurricane damage, Manhattan shoreline
Professor Plum, character assassination by trolling, hyperblogosphere
Mr. Green, water-rationing-card devaluation, Texas
"Mrs." White, sexual-reassignment surgery, San Francisco
Mrs. Peacock, Mayan-calendar expiration, fourth dimension
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