Kanye West's Lyric "The Way School Need Teachers / The Way Kathie Lee Needed Regis / That's the Way I Need Jesus," Adapted for Other Religions.BY MARTIN BELL - - - - Islam The way Madonna need the Kabbalah / The way Skee-Lo needed more royalties from "I wish I was a li'l bit talla" / That the way I need Allah. Hinduism The way today's hardworking AIDS researchers need tissue / The way a drunk Joe Namath wantshh to kissshhh you / That's how I need Vishnu. Shintoism The way the Bush camp needed to find some WMDs / The way Scottish tourism needs the Hebrides / That how I need various "kami," nature deities. Zoroastrianism The way the troops need to come home from Basra / The way my friend Terry's dad needs his '96 Mazda / So, too, do I need a Mazda, except I am of course referring to Ahura Mazda, the single supreme god of Zoroastrianism. Atheism The way the Red Sox need the curse of Babe Ruth / The way Abraham Lincoln needed Booth / That's how much I need a deity of any sort / That is to say, not very much at all. Judaism The way a Kennedy needs Cape C-d / The way iTunes players require an iP-d / And the way Bill Cosby needed Phylicia Rash-d / That's how I need G-d.
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