Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

- - - -

Darin Strauss' Half a Life,
a nakedly honest, ultimately hopeful
examination of guilt, responsibility, and
living with the past, has arrived. To mark
the occasion, get your copy today
at a reduced price.

- - - -

Mysterious
Ways in Which
the Lord Works.

BY JT DOBBS

- - - -

Never comes to the office holiday party

Changes the subject whenever anyone mentions past employment

Always minimizes windows right when you walk up

Logs onto Instant Messenger, but status always reads "BUSY!"

Even after all this time, still hasn't set up voicemail

Talks about family a lot, but doesn't have any pictures on his desk or anything

Parks in the alley instead of the garage, even though it's free for employees

Doesn't list any emergency contacts on HR form

Sometimes goes missing for days, then shows up with head all bandaged and acts like nothing happened

Always seems to have coffee, never seems to make coffee

Pretends to be on the phone when clearly none of the lines are lit up

Enables macros

 

MORE LISTS

 

- - - -

MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES

- - - -



Memories of Amanda Davis

- - - -



Red dot denotes content that is new today.

Black dot denotes newish content.

- - - -



McSWEENEY'S STORE

SUBSCRIBE TO:
McSWEENEY'S
THE BELIEVER
WHOLPHIN

FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS

THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD

INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE

THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING

McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST

BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY

McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES

ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
FOR BOOKS
FOR THE QUARTERLY
FOR THE WEBSITE
FOR WHOLPHIN

McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS

CONTACT US

- - - -

LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS

NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

NORSE HISTORY FOR BOSTONIANS

BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY
TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE


GET TO KNOW AN INTERNET COMMENTER

GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY

THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER

OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION

DISPATCHES FROM MANILA

DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS


REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE

LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX

NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR
AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS


CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ

SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL
TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY


TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO,
DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK


JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

EXCERPTS FROM THE PANORAMA

SOLUTIONS TO BENJAMIN TAUSIG'S
THREE-DEMENSIONAL CROSSWORD PUZZLE
IN THE SAN FRANCISCO PANORAMA


ABOUT THE INSTRUCTIONS

ABOUT HALF A LIFE

ABOUT CITRUS COUNTY

ABOUT MISADVENTURE

ABOUT BINKY BROWN MEETS THE HOLY VIRGIN MARY

ABOUT THE CLOCK WITHOUT A FACE

ABOUT A VERY BAD WIZARD

- - - -

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL