Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

Through this Friday, all available back issues of Wholphin are half off—10 bucks apiece for countless warm evenings of rare films, featuring Miranda July, Paul Rudd, Donald Trump, and a monkey-faced eel.

- - - -

Alpaca-Farm-Economy and Tomato-Can-Label Sestina (After Reading The Art Spirit by Robert Henri 17 Years After
It Was Assigned
in a Freshman
Life-Drawing
Class).

BY DAVID KOEHN

- - - -

 There will always be the new movement.
 Every year it spreads its idea like an umbrella. 
 Its promises come like fucking clockwork
 And yet it always comes as a surprise. Freedom, 
 It's been said, comes from designing tomato-can labels, 
 Not from comparing the color of your shirt collar. 

 Every year's novelty is just another collar
 Restraining another idea. Alpaca bowel movements, 
 Like a baby's, are almost edible. FYI: Sweaters labeled
 "Alpaca" are not from the farms in L.A. 
 Alpacas are bred for more alpaca farms. Freedom
 Is a word not allowed in poems nor in clockwork. 

 Yes. The pendulum swings like clockwork
 In new movements. That said, the alpaca does collar
 A pretty penny. But working for freedom
 Is not part of that game. This movement, 
 Or that, shields you from ideas like an umbrella. 
 Don't sell alpacas, design tomato-can labels: 

 Henri insisted designing tomato-can labels
 Is better than selling one's art. Like clockwork
 Count on an alpaca farm opening. Like an umbrella
 It will shield another idea. Try touching a man's collar, 
 And in that feel, find his life's movements, 
 From birth through his brief glimpses of freedom. 

 There will always be a new movement. And freedom
 Will always be life's purpose in art. Sewing labels
 On sweaters is better than starting a movement. 
 Better late than never ... but despite this, like clockwork, 
 An alpaca farm will open. Lipstick stains on my collar
 Turn my wife on. The rest I need cover with an umbrella. 

 Another alpaca farm just opened, another umbrella
 Economy for the lack of invention and freedom
 In the mind of the artist. That man's collar
 Is made of alpaca wool. An artist doesn't label
 The man but selects the portrait for his work, 
 If, and only if, he sees in it a soul's movement. 

 The umbrella of work, of designing tomato-can labels,
 Provides freedom from the alpaca-farm clockwork.
 FYI: Touch your collar. Feel it? Feel that bowel movement. 

 

MORE SESTINAS

 

- - - -

MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES

 

Memories of Amanda Davis

 


Red dot denotes content that is new today.

Black dot denotes newish content.

McSWEENEY'S STORE

SUBSCRIBE TO:
McSWEENEY'S
THE BELIEVER
WHOLPHIN

FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS

THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD

INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE

THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING

McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST

McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES

ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
FOR BOOKS
FOR THE QUARTERLY
FOR THE WEBSITE
FOR WHOLPHIN

McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS

CONTACT US

- - - -

LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW

SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST

DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S SICK OF THE REVOLUTION

DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT

ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES

ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS

ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS

ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS

ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA

ABOUT DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S VACATION

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY

DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY

ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY

DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO
A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA


DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER

STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

- - - -

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL