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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.
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A Sour Hour Spent With a Frozen Burrito in a Hot Oven.BY ARTHUR FELDMAN
It has been there nearly an hour. The heat simply won't get in. My mood is growing sour. Preparing food that's ready-made frozen Should not strain my cooking power. But in the kitchen, what is power? Surely, not the heat of this subpar oven. But a freezer that keeps the frosty frozen? To create a seven-course meal in an hour? To make sweet the sour? At the very least, just to get the heat in. Baking, sautéing, frying I'm schooled in It all. My stove goes all the way to 11-power. My custards sweet, my creams sour. Soufflés arose airily in this very oven. Yet I cannot heat a burrito inside of an hour? Blast this Trader Joe's Chicken Burrito, super-frozen. My ex-girlfriend called me frozen When that was the mood she was in. But I could soothe her within an hour, That was in my power. Alas, the bun in her oven Wasn't mine, which left a taste rather sour. And it remains sour. And my burrito remains frozen, Unaffected in this hot, hot oven The heat cannot get in No matter how high the power. And I must wait another hour. I clean the kitchen to wait out the hour. When there are no longer any pans left to scour I turn off the power. That fucking burrito will stay frozen. I have no more faith in This goddamn, no-good, two-timing oven. And so ends the hour, the burrito still frozen The icy chicken tastes sour. I give in! From now on, I power only a microwave oven.
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