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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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We'll Always Have
Paris Hilton.

BY BRIAN HOWE

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 1. Paris Hilton digging in her bag
 2. Paris Hilton walking down the street
 3. Paris Hilton and Chad Muska eat
 4. Paris Hilton putting a box in her box
 5. Paris Hilton and Chad Muska looking dumb
 6. Paris Hilton's ass

 Pulling candy out of a girl's ass
 Instead of a Chihuahua in a Prada bag
 I don't have any fake parts, and I am not dumb
 She starts to freak out, running up and down the street
 Digits spilled from Paris's electronic address box
 Note to self: stop eating

 I lie about what I eat
 While Bush threatens to kick the world's ass
 How can I make my own soundproof box? 
 She "accidentally" hits me with her freaking plastic bag
 Points to the deserted strip mall down the street
 And you have an avatar saying Bush is dumb? 

 My newspaper told me Bush was dumb
 He shall not lie down until he eat
 The 10,000 pro-tennis llamas down the street
 In the end, our God will kick their god's ass
 As she reaches out to drop the candy in the bag
 It was like being inside a huge white soundproof box

 Boxes! Boxes everywhere! He had to pick a box
 There Is Outsourcing Because We Are Dumb
 Coroners accidentally drop a body bag
 It is far more appropriate for man not to eat 
 Balaam's Ass
 Cautiously moves up the deserted street

 SHOT of the car careening down a deserted street
 He couldn't pick a box
 So let us remember Balaam's ass—his talking ass
 This is going to sound really dumb
 You should not eat anything that you could not eat
 In an American body bag

 "Look smart" on the streets and fear of "looking dumb"
 In a box within a box within a box I was trying to eat
 Not see someone's ass zipped into a body bag 

 

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