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All posts tagged
elections
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March 29, 2024How to Concede an Election While Making It Clear That Your Ideas Are Objectively Better
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February 14, 2024As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
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November 7, 2023A Concession Speech by a Candidate Who Just Lost to a Dog Mayor
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October 24, 2023We Must Give Equal Airtime to the Democratic Incumbent and the Guy Who Wants Everyone to Drink Their Own Piss
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November 7, 2022Are You Watching Election Night Coverage or Preparing for a Colonoscopy?
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November 4, 2022I Pledge to Accept the Results of the Election as Long as I Win
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November 3, 2022What the Hell Else Has to Happen for You to Get Off Your Butt and Vote?
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November 2, 2022Repeat After Me: “The President’s Party Always Loses the Midterms”
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October 31, 2022If Elected, I Promise to Murder You
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October 14, 2022A Voter’s Guide to the 2050 Election, Written by Your New Robot Overlords