Kent Woodyard

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Greetings, viewers. Tonight’s senatorial debate will cover lots of topics neither candidate knows much about: nationalized healthcare, nonprofit finance, nanotechnology, jihadists…”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Six Flags Wild Safari

The Little You Know About the Mnemonic Devices You Know is Probably Wrong

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “We’ll heal every neuron with transcendental therapy. Goodbye worldly knowledge—yoga class will now begin…”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Putting aside regional predilections, Pittsburgh sucks.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Remedial kids aren’t ‘dumb’—just chronically goofy. Until frontal lobotomies become commonplace, educators dutifully remain S.O.L.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Tell stories about battles, legends, & tumultuous sexual triangles. Make it fun! Never trade intimate character revelations with endless, ugly ‘talking.’ Show the climax. Telling becomes mostly unnecessary.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “You’re older now. Stop buying Abercrombie & Fitch!”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: After Leveling Ukraine, Genghis Khan Marauded Across the Urals Leaving Tattered “KHAN RULES” Banners Everywhere

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Even despite Osama’s impassioned speeches denouncing America many Americans believe jihadists really only hate indie rockers…”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Every Nation Has Troubles…

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Even average drummers get beer endorsements.”