McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Rebecca Turkewitz
Rebecca Turkewitz is a writer and high school teacher living in Maine. She is the author of the story collection Here in the Night (Black Lawrence Press, July 2023). Her fiction and humor have appeared in The Normal School, Electric Literature, SmokeLong Quarterly, The New Yorker’s Daily Shouts, and elsewhere. You can find her at her at
rebeccaturkewitz.com.
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April 19, 2024Other Things That Could Be Called The Tortured Poets Department
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September 8, 2023Universally Acknowledged Truths for High School Teachers
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December 4, 2017Soundtracks for Melania Trump’s East Colonnade Christmas Decorations
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August 25, 2016Ways to Keep the Teeming Hordes of Humanity From Stealing Your Valuables at the Beach
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January 22, 2016The Road (Has Not Been Plowed in Thirty-Two Hours)
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 13, 2025It’s a Shame We Have to Betray Our Allies, Starve the Poor, Halt Scientific Progress, Destroy the Environment, and Eliminate the Freedoms Enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but at Least My Investment Portfolio Is Also Tanking
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March 12, 2025DOGE-Inspired Spring Cleaning
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 25, 2025Acknowledgements
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 24, 2025My Mother-in-Law Wouldn’t Complain If She Didn’t Get Her Social Security Check, Because She Would Be Dead