Simone caressed Cynthia’s hair, only to get her hand tangled up in her earbuds, pulling both out of her ears. They could no longer hear Foster the People through the splitter but they didn’t care. The speakers dangled helplessly at their sides, forgotten.
Jumping on top of his Tesla, Theo yelled her name into the crowd. “ALICE!” he cried, willing time to stop, willing the world to come to halt, desperately trying to find her before she slipped through his fingers forever. For he knew one thing in that moment, and that thing was that Alice was the love of his life. Alice, who had introduced him to Malort. Alice, who had bought him those super neat biking pants with the reflector on the ankle that he could also wear to pitch meetings. Alice, who had told him about that bomb-ass brunch spot, who had recommended he read BoingBoing, who signed him up on Twitter. Alice, the one that sent him that great Someecard five days ago with the horse on it, five days before he knew that he needed Alice so desperately, five days before he realized what excellent taste Alice had in local organic meats, five days after he dumped Claire via iMessage.
“I don’t have a TV,” Carla murmured into the nape of Nate’s neck.
“At long last the council has finally passed city ordinance HB 1644, outlawing plastic bags,” Logan said into the microphone as he looked up and saw Shelby walking down the center aisle of City Hall, carrying seventeen cloth bags filled with cats, tears in her eyes. He liked cats.
The Stop Gentrification Now! rally was crowded, but Natasha expertly maneuvered through the crowd on her fixed gear. She locked up and bought a tamale from a vendor. As she approached the group, listening to the protesters’ cries, she heard a voice. She stopped. He was behind her, it was him. She knew that voice anywhere. It was Thaddy P, who had rescued her when she lost a hiking boot off a cliff on the Pacific Crest Trail 5 years earlier. She turned around as he said her name and she saw that he was wearing the same flannel shirt he’d had on the day they met. “The shirt,” she whispered, “you’re wearing the shirt.” “I’ve never taken it off,” he said, as his dreads quivered with surprise. He smelled like really terrible body odor and ramen noodles, and he took her in his arms, promising never to leave her again. She mouth-breathed emotionally.
“Non-celiac gluten sensitivity may be a sham, baby, but our open relationship means the world to me,” said Mark. To both Toni and Ruby. Several days apart. Also Ashley.
The doorbell rang basically right as Lane placed the order. Goosebumps erupted across her arms. Heart pounding, she made her way to the door. “That was… freakishly fast” she said, signing the receipt.
Greg came home to find his Dollar Shave Club order on the steps, delivered by UPS earlier that day, same as always. What wasn’t the same as always was that the box was the size of a refrigerator and was humming the theme song to Juno. Greg sat down and put his head in his hands, listening to his wife sing. Fatherhood. He took a selfie.
“I’ve waited for you for so long” Chad whispered into the dark, sliding his hand over her smooth curves, her beautiful face, his new iPad.
“WHAT IS THIS LIFE” Alyssa shouted, her heart melting. As she walked from room to room, every surface in her home was covered, just like, covered, with candles made out of yarn. They were all on fire. Sam waited behind the door, with a tiny knit ring in a tiny knit box, trying to find her in the smoke.
“YOLO,” he texted. Her pulse quickened.