THE MAJESTIC ROYALE THEATRE PLAYWRITING COMPETITION is now accepting entries. Winner receives staged reading and $50 cash prize. Entry fee: $60. We will also automatically withdraw a $10 notification fee from your PayPal account when you reach the end of this sentence. Winning playwright must travel at his or her own expense to Hoopers Mill, Wisconsin, by way of Kenosha, because our Managing Director left his umbrella in a diner there so it would be cool if you could swing by and pick it up for him.
THE PLAYWRIGHTS’ THEATRE OF ACTORS’ SEMI-ANNUAL 8-TO-11-MINUTE PLAY FESTIVAL presents plays inspired by a common theme. This round’s theme: paper towel absorbency. It is not necessary to use paper towels on stage, but the plot must hinge on the absorbency of paper towels, in either a literal or metaphorical sense. Scripts about linen towels will be returned unread.
REPERTORY REP’S DRAMALAMADINGDONG seeks plays about Disability and/or the Spanish-American War. Playwrights should meet at least two of the following criteria: current resident of Colorado or Delaware; direct descendant of pirates; Capricorn. No “kitchen-sink” plays; plays depicting kitchens without sinks or sinks in other rooms OK.
THE FESTIVAL OF REALLY REALLY UNHEARD VOICES seeks plays about the experience of being Transracial, Unlesbian, Biskeletal, or happy with your cable and internet provider. Scripts must pass the Bechdel Test and fail the Mamet Test.
SUGARPLUM JUNCTION CHILDREN’S THEATRE seeks family-friendly musicals about the long-term hazards of endocrine disruptors in the environment. Relevant STEM learning concepts from the Common Core should be incorporated into the lyrics, as children will not be allowed to leave the theatre until they pass a standardized exam. Cast size: 3, 4, or 6, but not 5. Note: All productions must include a cameo for “Stella,” our well-behaved monitor lizard.
SPORK ENSEMBLE THEATRE seeks plays for our resident company of 14 actors. All submitted scripts should have exactly 14 characters, 13 of which must be played by a single actor, with the remaining character’s role distributed equally across the other 13 actors. The entire script must also be a palindrome.
THE SOUTH CENTRAL NORTH DAKOTA FESTIVAL OF NEW MUSICALS is launching next season’s Broadway hits in Bismarck’s up-and-coming Penitentiary District. Interested applicants should submit: a) the full script along with two contrasting ten-page excerpts, labeled “A” and “1” respectively; b) a breakdown of all characters in the show; c) a breakdown of all characters not in the show; d) five copies of a good-quality demo in CD, mp3, and limited-edition 12" vinyl format (numbered and signed); and e) a description of the target audience, including individual names, phone numbers, and short bios, along with likely availability for Festival performances (usually Wednesdays at 7:15 am or midnight). Author’s names or other identifying information should not appear on ANY submitted material, and instead should be shouted into a paper bag and mailed under separate cover. Winners must finance their own productions under an Equity WTF contract, but will be given 50 postcards and a megaphone for publicity, along with two hours of access to the green room fridge (bottom shelf only).
FARTING SQUID PRODUCTIONS commissions new plays about wartime atrocities in sub-Saharan Africa. Future productions must acknowledge Farting Squid above the title.
THE MARYBETH TRIGIANNI ARTISTS’ RESIDENCY offers playwrights time to write and reflect in idyllic suburban Baltimore, in exchange for light housekeeping, meal preparation, and miscellaneous home repairs. Your room in our main residence, a quaint 1983 Split-Level Ranch, includes new bedding mounted on a full-sized washer/dryer, direct access to a two-car garage, and an in-room pantry fully stocked with Diet Sierra Mist and Wheat Thins. Your hosts include an emerging Literary Manager on maternity leave and her useless husband. Writer-pediatricians encouraged to apply.