The Music Man: He logged more than 50 hours of detention in high school.
Les Miserables: He took inspirational school assemblies very seriously.
Phantom of the Opera: He keeps asking if Jenna will be at the reunion.
West Side Story: He can’t help you if you won’t tell him what’s wrong.
Damn Yankees: He has his grandfather’s baseball cards and his grandfather’s Playboys.
Fiddler on the Roof: He has a special name he called his grandmother.
Guys and Dolls: He has his own nickname for every member of the Rat Pack.
Jersey Boys: He and his dad have plans for that Camaro.
Tommy: He and his dad have plans for that acid.
Grease: He has photos of himself on every ride at Six Flags, and he knows where they are.
Little Shop of Horrors (Movie): He thinks Phineas and Ferb is funny.
Little Shop of Horrors (Broadway): He thinks Hannibal is funny.
Book of Mormon: He will explain to you why something is funny.
Cats: His fingernails are creepily long.
Avenue Q: Don’t get him started on student loans.
Gypsy: Don’t get him started on his mom.
Sweeney Todd: Don’t get him started on anything.
Company: He carries a tiny notebook and writes down things people said, but feels bad when he reads it.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch: He has pierced his own ear at least once.
Rent: He thought about piercing his own ear once.
A Chorus Line: He’s a SoulCycle instructor, but that’s just for right now.
The Sound of Music: He doesn’t understand why people don’t spank their kids anymore.
Anything Gilbert and Sullivan: He doesn’t understand why no one asks about his SAT score anymore.
Anything Jason Robert Brown: He doesn’t understand why you don’t want to hear the story about him losing his virginity at that pre-college summer program anymore.
Anything Cole Porter: He greets people by kissing them on the cheek. He’s not European.
Chicago: He calls legs “gams.”
Cabaret: He has used an eyeliner pencil as a regular pencil.
Bye Bye Birdie: He was in Bye Bye Birdie in high school.
1776: He doesn’t consider himself a Republican, but…
South Pacific: He’s not racist, but…
The King and I: He is racist.
Wicked: He is Stephen Schwartz.