With the success of Tina Fey’s impression of Sarah Palin, you may be wondering how you, too, can do a celebrity impression and become the most popular person ever in the world. Here’s a simple guide to celebrity impressions.
First, what not to do: Stay away from Christopher Walken. Obviously, stay away from Christopher Walken in general: celebrities don’t like to be bothered when they’re walking down the street or eating scones. But stay away from a Christopher Walken impression as well. Everyone has a Christopher Walken impression and, even if your impression is more Walken than Walken, no one will care, least of all Walken. They might even be annoyed. I usually am. I cannot speak for Walken.
Start out simple. I suggest trying Daniel Day-Lewis from Last of the Mohicans. All you have to do is yell “I will find you!” in a sort of British accent but imply that you were raised by Native Americans even though you yourself are not Native American. If you are Native American, try to sound more British, but not completely British. You get the picture. I would advise against the whole Daniel Day-Lewis–in–_There Will Be Blood_ impression. That’s been done to death. “I drink your milkshake” is on an ironic T-shirt that they advertise on Facebook or whatever. Case closed.
Facial expressions are important, of course. If you’re like every young girl and want to imitate Laura Linney, all you need to do is squint your eyes, put a worried smile on your face, tilt your head to one side, and think about John Adams or Philip Seymour Hoffman. If you don’t look like the celebrity you want to impersonate, plastic surgery is always a viable option. Chances are the celebrity’s better-looking than you anyway, so by going under the knife you’re killing two birds with one stone.
Just to clarify: The first bird would be a better celebrity impression. The second bird would be a more beautiful face.
You might ask why I’m qualified to give you advice. Well, because I’m an excellent celebrity impersonator myself. Check this one out:
“I’m in love with McDreamy!”
No, Ellen Pompeo from Grey’s Anatomy was not just in the room with you. That was me. Impressive, I know.
“Freedom!”
Hey! Don’t worry! Mel Gibson probably isn’t anywhere near you. That was me, doing my Gibson-in-Ransom impression.
Wait, I hear a knock at the door. Let’s see who it is.
“Jerry Maguire!”
Ha! Got you again! Renée Zellweger is probably somewhere in Transylvania, filming a period piece and using an accent. Don’t be intimidated—my Zellweger is probably my most prized impression.
So if you need a Day-Lewis or a Linney at your next birthday party or company retreat, I will also dress the part in addition to delivering a spot-on impression. I have my own Last of the Mohicans deer-hide suit and Linney’s accent from Mystic River. So, you know who to call.
“Ghostbusters!”
Just kidding! Don’t call the Ghostbusters! However, I will dress like all three—I mean four—of them. Don’t you always forget about Winston? I do. Wow, we have so much in common. So call. Please. My voices aren’t much company.
“Alrighty then!”
(Jim Carrey from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.)