McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Ellie Kemper
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May 6, 2014I Have No Plans to Stop Using ‘AHAHAHAHAHAHA’ Instead of ‘LOL’ Anytime Soon
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February 14, 2013How Aleksandr Knew What He Knew, and How I Knew That He Knew
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October 1, 2009My Hobbies
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March 27, 2009I Am Not on a Roll
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April 21, 2008John McCain Gives It to Me Straight
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December 13, 2007Some Relatively Recent College Grads Discuss Their Maids
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August 22, 2007No-Stress, Low-Fuss, Hassle-Free Summertime Recipes for the Confident, Independent, Self-Sufficient Gal On the Go
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May 15, 2007A Guest Columnist Still Getting the Hang of It
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October 24, 2006Following My Creative Writing Teacher’s Advice to Write “Like My Parents Are Dead”
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June 16, 2006In Response To Accusations That My Memoir, I, Ellie Kemper, Borrows Numerous Passages From Rigoberta Menchu’s Memoir, I, Rigoberta Menchu
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December 15, 2005Listen, Kid, the Biggest Thing You’ve Got Going for You Is Your Rack
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 27, 2025“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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March 3, 2025Accurate College Marketing Taglines
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March 3, 2025Other Things John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Wished People Shouted at Him
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February 28, 2025An Open Letter to Lumon Industries Requesting to Please Kindly Insert the Severance Device in My Brain and Keep It on “Innie” Mode for the Next Four Years
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February 28, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: Black Square