McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Jared Smith
Jared Smith lives in Atlanta and has won pub trivia on three continents.
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December 11, 2017The Grinch is Sorry He Stole Your Mom’s Pills
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August 10, 2017Ken Burns Regrets Committing to Jazz Follow-up, Jazzcore
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May 4, 2017Does Using a Cleaning Service Undermine My Thesis On Class Struggle?
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November 2, 2015My NaNoWriMo Plan
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September 2, 2015Taylor Swift: A Socratic Dialogue
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner