ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
Young reader in your life? Subscribe to Illustoria magazine today. Recognized by The New York Times as a best gift for kids!
Articles by
Matthew Brian Cohen
Matthew Brian Cohen’s work has appeared in McSweeney’s, Weekend Update, The Onion, College Humor, and more. He runs the humor magazine, Janice.
-
October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner
-
April 22, 2022This City Pledges to Be Carbon-Neutral by the Time It’s Too Late
-
February 15, 2022Enough With the Hygiene Theater. I Want to Take a Shit Without Washing My Hands
-
January 11, 2022The Safest Place for Your Kids Right Now Is Inside the Scorpion Pit
-
January 13, 2021This Might Be The Most Disgusting Fuddruckers of All Time, But It’s Just Not Who We Are
-
November 10, 2020It’s Time to Bring the Country Together and Let Republicans Get Away with Crimes Again
-
March 26, 2020As Bad As the COVID-19 Crisis Is Now, Life Will Eventually Go Back to Being Normal-Bad Again
-
February 10, 2020America Must Not Become Socialist, Lest We Abandon What Makes Our Country Awful
-
January 7, 2020The Case For War, By Someone Whose Kids Won’t Die Fighting In It
-
August 21, 2019Summary of Benefits and Coverage For Your New Garbage Health Insurance
-
June 14, 2019I Don’t Actually Have to Sell This War With Iran, Do I?
-
April 17, 2019Put Aside Your Purity Politics and Embrace My Feckless Centrism
Trending 🔥
-
November 6, 2024I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate
-
November 8, 2024Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe
-
November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad
-
November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires