McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Matthew Seely
Matthew Seely is a writer and performer based in Toronto. In addition to McSweeney’s, his work has appeared at Points In Case and Robot Butt. Matthew has performed with various improv teams and trained with the Second City Conservatory Program.
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March 31, 2021Am I a Twitter Bot or a Real Amazon Employee? The Answer is Yes!
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January 8, 2021Refusing to Publish My CSI Miami Erotic Fan Fiction Is an Assault on the First Amendment
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October 12, 2020The Radical Differences Between Canadian and American Thanksgiving
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October 2, 2020Trump’s Doctor Writes an Excused Absence Note to the Federal Election Commission
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August 7, 2020As a Hospital CEO I’m Giving My Healthcare Workers the Thanks They Deserve – With a Poster I Made in MS Word
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner