ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Matthew Summers-Sparks
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July 9, 2009Four Short Plays About Selling a Glass-Top Coffee Table, as Posted by My Neighbor, George, in Our Apartment Building’s Elevator
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April 8, 2008Reviews of a Struggling Actor’s First Three Bank Heists
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October 10, 2002Windows Messages, as if Rewritten by Scott, This Guy Who Bullied Me in the Second Grade.
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September 6, 2002The Seventy-Ounce Steak, An Interview with John Laslo, about Eating It All in an Hour, Part Two
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August 16, 2002The Seventy-Ounce Steak, An Interview with John Laslo, about Eating It All in an Hour, Part One.
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June 28, 2002No Hurry
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February 1, 2002About the Doorknobs of America, An Interview with Bruce Gerrie, Curator of the First Major Exhibit of Antique Doorknobs in the United States
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November 5, 2001The Attacks and Their Aftermath: Disagreement.
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October 9, 2001Me And The Ruffz
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September 21, 2001The Attacks and Their Aftermath: Pennsylvania Avenue.
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May 17, 2001Spring 2001 Project
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April 10, 2001Passwords Printed on the Eight Trial Software Packages AOL Has Mailed to Me since December 20, and an Imagined Exchange Between AOL and Me
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner