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All posts tagged
homeland-security
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December 6, 2019The Department of Homeland Security’s Preparedness Guide for Your Ten-Year High School Reunion
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April 9, 2019At the End of the Day, Pinhead and Lady Misery Simply Had Different Definitions of “Defilement,” and That’s Why She’s Leaving The Cenobite Order
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May 11, 2012The State Department’s Official Travel Advisory for Your Mother’s House
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November 18, 2010A Message From a TSA Full-Body Scanner
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March 23, 2007Locations on My Person Where It Is Possible to Hide a Machete, According to the TSA Employee Who Patted Me Down at Flint Bishop Airport, in Flint, Michigan
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August 23, 2004The A-Team Resolves Lapses in Homeland Security
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August 3, 2004Featured Attractions at This Year’s Department of Homeland Security Pep Rally
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 4, 2024270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us
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November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen