IKEA, Amazon, Target, Johnson & Bachman — Attorneys at Law, Big Lots, LEGO, Verizon, AT&T

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Ron G. Biv

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Stop crying. Never cross Stevie Wonder. Muzzle that hurtful, nasty woman: Pelosi. Nuke Moscow. Soooooo overdue. Never trust Malaysian geishas to giggle well. They giggle horribly. After Clinton, this nation didn’t fix itself. I fixed it!

Mnemonic Devices to Help You Remember How to Spell “Mnemonic Devices.”

Please Avoid Memorizing These Unhelpful Mnemonic Devices

Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day

270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us

Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care

Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen