CAN YOU FIX THIS?
“Can you fix this?” I asked the handyman, pointing at the stalactites in my ceiling. "No, he said.
DID YOU KNOW?
I saw on a nature show how this cat’s urine glows under a black light. I thought I was the only one with that power.
SHRIMP
When I read that a shrimp’s heart is in its head, I thought, we humans are like that: we have a slender elongated body, compressed abdomen, and a long spiny rostrum.
SNEEZE
If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes on the sidewalk, you will occasionally find a quarter, sometimes a dollar.
ALL AND SOME
Any man, in the right situation, is capable of being a great lover. But not every man can say, “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.” In conclusion, great lovers and tongue twisters are not as similar as you might think.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
I am an authority on vampires.
I am an authority on lesbians.
I am an authority on dreams.
I am an authority on regression therapy.
I am an authority on manipulation and propaganda.
I am dishonest in relationships.