ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Ali Kelley
Ali Kelley is a Brooklyn-based comedy writer and essayist. She’s a co-author of the feminist joke book, Jokes to Offend Men. An alleged grown-up, Ali writes frequently on the topics of ‘90s pop culture, teen angst, and growing up in the suburbs.
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December 18, 2023We’ve Remodeled Our Bathroom, So Now You Have to Take a Dump Behind a Sliding Barn Door
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October 26, 2022Jokes to Offend Men Who Refuse to Believe You’re Not Interested in Them
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March 10, 2021Things I Have to Say to My Male Colleagues Versus Things They Say to Me
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December 17, 2020A Warning from the CDC for All Hallmark Movie Protagonists Returning to Their Hometowns This Christmas
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October 22, 2020Complaints I’d Have If I Owned a House Instead of Rented an Apartment
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February 21, 2020Jokes I’ve Told That My Male Colleagues Didn’t Like
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November 1, 2019Welcome to Gray: The Premiere Island Hideaway for Women of a Certain Age
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June 12, 2019Introducing Our Most Aspirational Bag, The Juliette
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May 15, 2019Suburban Legends
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August 17, 2018OUR Wedding is All About YOU
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March 21, 2018Men At Work Song or Men at Your Work Responding to #MeToo Allegations?
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June 16, 2017Rainforest Café Menu Item or Nickname Given to Justin by His Really Cool Step-Dad, Rick, and Not My Emotionally Withholding, Biological Father, Doug?
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner