1. White people achieve new levels of whiteness via their most privileged impulses.
2. The stars of the show are a group of entitled and insensitive characters who may or may not face the consequences of their own actions.
3. There will be some antagonists and villains from previous seasons.
4. New and unsavory characters will be introduced.
5. Class, wealth, and power will be constantly explored in a way that seems humorous at first but is ultimately dispiriting and devastating.
6. An egocentric man will not consider his family’s well-being in the name of becoming obscenely rich.
7. We will witness an onslaught of clumsy international affairs.
8. There will be crimes in broad daylight, of course.
9. There will be fascinating, perplexing, and disturbing monologues by men.
10. The most dysfunctional characters will mask themselves as friendly and convivial to hide their moral flaws and inherent awfulness.
11. Tension will build as the audience realizes everyone involved has a literal nation-shattering secret.
12. Other cultures will continue to serve as a mirror to America’s bawdiness.
13. Once again, everyone looks forward to seeing the stunning property of a Four Seasons (Total Landscaping or otherwise) as a coveted filming location.
14. The vibes are always off.
15. Too often, you’ll gaze at your TV and wonder, What the fuck?
16. One is an HBO Original
17. The other, a USA unoriginal.
18. The week-to-week would seem less grim if only Jennifer Coolidge were there.
1–15: The White House and The White Lotus
16. The White Lotus
17. The White House
18. The White House and The White Lotus