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Articles by
Andrew Palmer
Andrew Palmer is the author of the novel THE BACHELOR. He lives in Seattle.
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March 25, 2022I Am the Top Humidifier According to Wirecutter and I Can’t Take the Pressure Anymore
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November 2, 2017How You Can Help Me Sell My Book
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December 4, 2014I’m Renovating My Kitchen So I Can Start Life Anew With No Regrets
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September 2, 2014My Marriage Will Crumble If We Can’t Find a New Television Show to Watch
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April 11, 2013I’m a Man Who Subscribes to Men’s Interest Magazines
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September 8, 2011Jenna, Take Me Back, I’m Newly Muscular
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February 1, 2010You Don’t Know Me
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October 12, 2009If I Were Built
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally