The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Andrew Patrick Clark
Andrew Patrick Clark is a writer from Signal Mountain, TN. You can find more of his work here.
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February 12, 2025I Know This Is a Bad Time, but I Would Like a Refund for My Ticket to Our American Cousin
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December 5, 2024Gender Is Determined by God, Biology, and the Highest Governing Body of Some Random Sport
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November 20, 2024The Sirens Are Unionizing
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September 17, 2024Of Course We’re Going to Keep Feeding the Grizzly Bear
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September 3, 2024The Sacrificial Ram Has a Few Complaints
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July 16, 2024Live Like Prehistoric Man by Purchasing My Elaborate Supplement Routine
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May 22, 2024“The Three Little Pigs Are Hurting Their Own Cause,” an Op-Ed by the Big Bad Wolf
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April 16, 2024We Are Not a “School”—We Are a Hospital System with a Football Team
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December 1, 2023A Message from the Chancellor on the Recent Student Protest
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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March 31, 2025Son, I Forbid You to Join That Rowdy, No-Good Zorba the Greek Fan Club
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu