ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Andrew Singleton
Andrew is a writer and advertising copywriter living in Oakland, CA. He’s a couple of other things too, but can’t think of them right now.
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February 20, 2024Our Company Is Doing So Well That You’re All Fired
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October 27, 2023I Don’t Care if It’s Ninety Degrees, It’s Fall and I’m Wearing a Damn Sweater
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June 21, 2022The Events of January 6th Were a Patriotic Fight for Liberty Where Nothing Bad Happened. Also, the Democrats Did It
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July 13, 2021Nobody Wants to Be a Serf Anymore
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January 11, 2021I’m 15th-Century Aztec King Ahuitzotl and I’m Kind of Uncomfortable with All the Human Sacrificing Going on Around Here
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November 6, 2020I Guess I Just Expected a Little More from This Country
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October 21, 2020Quarantine Is a Wonderful Opportunity to Grow as a Person and Regress as a Person
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March 19, 2020No President Before Trump Ever Responded More Boldly, Swiftly, and Decisively In the Face of Criticism
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 4, 2024270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us
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November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen