McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

Join our Patreon at $10/month (or more) and receive a coupon for a discount on the Decorative Gourd Beanie, Gourd mugs, and our glorious new Advent Calendar. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.

Articles by

Ben Lyons

Ben is a writer and reluctant YouTuber living in St Louis. He pretends to like IPAs.

June 23, 2021

I’ll Come Out of Retirement for This Top Secret Mission, But How Will It Affect My Social Security?

by Ben Lyons

Trending 🔥

November 1, 2024

I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6

by Lauren Thoman
October 28, 2024

The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets

by Katryn Bury
August 19, 2024

Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056

by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton
September 20, 2024

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by Colin Nissan

Recently

November 7, 2024

Lessons Democrats Can Learn from Trump’s Flawlessly Executed 2024 Campaign

by Chandler Dean
November 6, 2024

Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad

by Carlos Greaves
November 6, 2024

I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate

by Devorah Blachor
November 5, 2024

270 Reasons: Because They Seem to Really Like Our Country

by George Saunders