ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Brittany Van Horne
Brittany Van Horne is a comedy writer based in Los Angeles.
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October 13, 2020I’m a Principled Republican Senator and I’m Suddenly Troubled By the Current State of Politics
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November 5, 2019Rebranding to FACEBOOK Is the Best You’re Going to Get From Us, So Just Try to Appreciate It
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May 2, 2019As a Wealthy Republican TV Pundit, I Am a Champion of the People and an Enemy of the Elites
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October 24, 2018The Performative Ally Theater Program
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October 5, 2018I #BelieveWomen (When It’s Convenient)
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January 26, 2018The #MeToo Movement Has Put a Stranglehold On Me, the Least Funny Person in the Room
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June 2, 2017I’m a Baby Boomer and I’m Mad That the World Isn’t a Stagnant Rock
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March 2, 2017I Am the World’s Most Fuckable Conservative Wunderkind and I Demand Your Respect
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 4, 2024270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us
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November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen