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Articles by
Dan Carroll
Dan Carroll is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. The fact that he’s able to maintain a living in this discipline is a complete anomaly to him, his family, and most around him. Nothing makes sense. This simply cannot be.
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January 19, 2023Oh God, Someone Gave Me Whiskey Stones
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November 8, 2018Turns Out the Blue Wave Was Actually the Ocean Rising to Kill Us
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October 11, 2018The Coaching Candidates for Every Youth Soccer Team In America
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March 7, 2018Welcome to Newscycle: The World’s Most Exhausting Cycling Workout
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June 24, 2015The Results of Doc’s Medical Examination On the Other Six Dwarfs
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 12, 2025DOGE-Inspired Spring Cleaning
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March 5, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Dong Li
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 25, 2025Acknowledgements
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 24, 2025My Mother-in-Law Wouldn’t Complain If She Didn’t Get Her Social Security Check, Because She Would Be Dead