The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Dan Fitzpatrick
Dan Fitzpatrick is a writer and stand-up comic based in New York City. He’s been featured online by Comedy Central and The National Lampoon, and you can find more information about his work here.
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 13, 2025It’s a Shame We Have to Betray Our Allies, Starve the Poor, Halt Scientific Progress, Destroy the Environment, and Eliminate the Freedoms Enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but at Least My Investment Portfolio Is Also Tanking
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March 12, 2025DOGE-Inspired Spring Cleaning
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 25, 2025Acknowledgements
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 24, 2025My Mother-in-Law Wouldn’t Complain If She Didn’t Get Her Social Security Check, Because She Would Be Dead