McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
David Hart
David Hart sometimes writes things when he’s not busy telling people to hush during meditation classes.
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August 8, 2018I am the Composer of Veterinarian Hold Music
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October 6, 2015I Am the Visionary Conference Planner You’re Looking For
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November 5, 2013Inbox Om
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July 12, 2013An Open Letter to My Two-CD Set of Miles Davis’s Bitches Brew
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September 4, 2012I Am Selling Candy for My Basketball Team or My Conceptual Art Project
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September 28, 2011Masterpiece Theatre’s Missed Connections
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July 22, 2011An Open Letter to The Clinging Panther Tattoo on a Middle-Aged Woman’s Arm
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April 29, 2009The John Wooden Pyramid of Success Meets Shaquille O’Neal’s Twitter Feed
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February 27, 2009Investment Opportunities for a Weak Economy, Suggested by the Ghost of James Brown
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December 19, 2007“Clue” Accusations, 2012
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January 16, 2007When TV Resembles Reality
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August 23, 2006Bedtime Stories by Thom Yorke
Trending 🔥
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 27, 2025“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
Recently
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March 3, 2025Accurate College Marketing Taglines
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March 3, 2025Other Things John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Wished People Shouted at Him
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February 28, 2025An Open Letter to Lumon Industries Requesting to Please Kindly Insert the Severance Device in My Brain and Keep It on “Innie” Mode for the Next Four Years
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February 28, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: Black Square