The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Eliza Aspen
Eliza Aspen is a researcher and writer who appreciates all that gas stations have to offer.
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February 27, 2025“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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February 27, 2025Changes Our University Is Making to Pre-Comply with Possible Future Regulations
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March 6, 2025Killing Baby Boomers Will Save the United States Government Trillions
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March 13, 2025It’s a Shame We Have to Betray Our Allies, Starve the Poor, Halt Scientific Progress, Destroy the Environment, and Eliminate the Freedoms Enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but at Least My Investment Portfolio Is Also Tanking
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March 13, 2025Don’t Let the Fact That I Only Criticize Democrats and Always Defend Trump Confuse You—I’m an Independent Centrist
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March 13, 2025Hero of the Memoir
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March 12, 2025DOGE-Inspired Spring Cleaning